Loving parents are the most valuable gift that can be given to a child on the way. And yet, love alone is not enough to raise the little ones to healthy people who can go the best ways in life and make informed decisions.
Consequence in education
Children have to learn early on that their actions will always lead to reactions from their environment - because what good is it to let them go through everything and then to drop them when reality has to teach them that this is only the case Parents worked?
What does consequence mean?
Consequence is often confused with severity and therefore encounters rejecting ears with loving parents. There are worlds between these two extremes. Strictness means that the parents set more or less well-accepted rules and do not allow exceptions.
When it is said that 19 watches the child back home from play and 5 is minutes late, the TV stays off and there is not even an exception when the offspring on their way home through another car accident, for example had to go and without this would have been punctual. Consequence, on the other hand, is derived from the consistent attitude.
Everything that one does or does not do in life will provoke a reaction in one's fellow man, that is, a consequence. If the child does not want this, then it must avoid the situation that leads to the consequence.
Parents tell the child the rules and tell them in advance exactly what will happen if they are not kept. However, there are no Draconian punishments and every decision remains an isolated case; every action of the child simply has its consequence and this is previously known, so that the offspring can decide for themselves whether he accepts them or not.
Consequence in the case study
Assuming that the same child comes 5 minutes after the agreed time at 19 PM home and reported it had to take a detour from the friend's house, since there was a car accident and the road was closed. Otherwise, it would have been there on time.
Reasonably reasonable means that the child has no punishment to worry about, because there is nothing wrong with the accident and it would not be conducive to punishing it, even though it started on time and the goodwill was there to keep the rule.
However, the parents should sit down and make the kids aware that this particular case is okay, but that it would have been better to go earlier.
For such events can always come unpredictably, the child has now experienced that himself. And what would have been, for example, if it had just been on the way to a friend and thereby 5 minutes would have lost time together?
Of reasonable consequences, continuity and unfair penalties
Consequence must be, but consequences must remain reasonable and be known to the child. Too severe education, high penalties for small "offenses" or consequences that were not previously agreed and occur spontaneously, sustainably damage the trust.
Imagine the following situation: The child comes home from school and brings a bad grade. It was known beforehand that it then had to learn more or to tutor, depending on what had been agreed. But this is the case already done, this security must at least be offered to the offspring.
If the parents spontaneously get angry or decide that the child is not allowed to do anything with their friends for a week to learn (which does not work anyway), because what kind of child is learning between returning home and bedtime all the time? ), then you need not be surprised that the child no longer trusts them and perhaps even conceals the note. Consequences are predetermined, and parents and children alike.
More pages about education
- Help, my child is lying
- When kids break things
- Never go with strangers! say no
- Exercise tips in nature
- Promote gifted children
- Clean up your wardrobe
- Boost children's creativity
- Strengthen children's self-esteem
- Promote social behavior of children
- The defiance phase is here
- Educating the children
- Help in the household
- The first friend, the first girlfriend
- Coming out of your own child
- Protection against sexual abuse
- Pocket money
- Part time jobs for students
- Clean up the rooms, I said!
- Help in the household
- Typical child questions and answers
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