Loving parents are the most valuable gift that can be given to a child on the way. And yet, love alone is not enough to raise the little ones to healthy people who can go the best ways in life and make informed decisions.
Consequence in education - what does consistency mean?
Children have to learn early on that their actions will always lead to reactions of their environment - because what good is it to let them go through everything and then to drop them when reality has to teach them that only in the case of Parents worked?
Consequence is often confused with severity and therefore encounters rejecting ears with loving parents. There are worlds between these two extremes. Strictness means that the parents set more or less well-accepted rules and do not allow exceptions.
When it is said that 19 watches the child back home from play and 5 is minutes late, the TV stays off and there is not even an exception when the offspring on their way home through another car accident, for example had to go and without this would have been punctual. Consequence, on the other hand, is derived from the consistent attitude.
Everything that one does or does not do in life will provoke a reaction in one's fellow man, that is, a consequence. If the child does not want this, then it must avoid the situation that leads to the consequence.
Parents tell the child the rules and tell them in advance exactly what will happen if they are not kept. However, there are no Draconian punishments and every decision remains an isolated case; every action of the child simply has its consequence and this is previously known, so that the offspring can decide for themselves whether he accepts them or not.
Consequence in the case study
Suppose the same child comes home 5 minutes after the agreed time at 19 p.m. and reports that they had to take a detour from their friend's house because of a car accident and the road was closed. Otherwise it would have been there on time. Consequence to a reasonable degree means that the child has no fear of punishment, because there is nothing for the accident and it would not be conducive to punish it, even though it went on time and there was a good will to comply with the rule.
However, the parents should sit down and make the child aware that this individual case is fine, but that it would have been better to start a little earlier. Because such events can always happen unexpectedly, the child has now experienced this himself. And what if, for example, it had just been to a friend on the way and 5 minutes of time had been lost as a result?
Of reasonable consequences, continuity and unfair penalties
Consequence must be, but consequences must remain reasonable and be known to the child. Too severe education, high penalties for small "offenses" or consequences that were not previously agreed and occur spontaneously, sustainably damage the trust.
Imagine the following situation: The child comes home from school and brings a bad grade. It was known beforehand that it then had to learn more or to tutor, depending on what had been agreed. But this is the case already done, this security must at least be offered to the offspring.
If the parents become angry spontaneously or additionally decide that the child is now no longer allowed to do anything with the friends for a week to learn (which does not work anyway, because which child is learning all the time between returning home from school and bedtime? ).?
Then you need not be surprised that the child no longer trusts you and maybe even conceals the grade. The consequences are clear beforehand, and parents and children alike abide by them.
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