At some point it will be there: the time when young people bring their first boyfriend home with them.
The first friend, the first girlfriend
The new situation demands a lot of sensitivity, tolerance and openness from parents. Sensitivity in the sense that parents exercise discretion and better not knock once more than once too little before entering their son or daughter's room.
It's not easy for everyone, one wonders what's going on behind the closed door. In addition, young people now bond much earlier than their parents and are younger when they have their first boyfriend or girlfriend.
First love at twelve?
Many girls have their first boyfriend at the age of twelve, an age when the mothers played with Barbies. However, these relationships often have a very different quality than that of the older adolescents. With the first friend or first girlfriend at the age of twelve, more hands-holding is in the foreground, and the feeling of having a friend or a friend in order to belong can be the trigger.
Things are different for the fourteen-year-old boys and girls. Parents should clearly address the subject of sexuality, especially prevention and protection against HIV. A visit to the gynecologist would be appropriate. Sometimes it is difficult for young people to talk about these things freely and uninhibitedly - perhaps they will find it easier to talk to a doctor or a doctor.
Show tolerance and be attentive
Even if the first friend does not quite live up to his or her own expectations, one should withhold remarks about the person (s) concerned. First, it offends your child, and second, it causes distrust, with the result that as a parent, you are less involved in the events of the relationship.
However, if there is a suspicion that the boyfriend or girlfriend is taking drugs, or if the young man is significantly older than the girlfriend, clarifying discussions are necessary.
Talk to your child about their worries, but don't be too quick to judge. However, if there is a large age difference and your daughter is not yet fourteen years old, the young man is liable to prosecution if there is sexual contact. You must point this out to both your daughter and her boyfriend, even if you are seen as stuffy afterwards.
To endure lovesickness and anger
Even the best first love usually ends after months or years. Sometimes just like that, sometimes because of someone else. You cannot spare your child either grief or anger.
The first boyfriend or girlfriend is always special! Just be there for your child when they need to speak, but don't rush them.
Everyone deals with lovesickness differently. Accept your child's behavior as long as they don't go overboard. Also, endure his anger and remember your first relationship. Perhaps it will help your child if you tell them a little bit about their first boyfriend or girlfriend. Make it clear to the adolescent that all lovesickness is over at some point
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