Partnership and communication

Communication problems occur in many areas of everyday life today, but especially in relationships. It doesn't matter how long the relationship has lasted, because communication problems are not always due to a lack of attention to the other person. Sometimes one person is distracted when the other person asks them for something.

Tips for better communication with your partner

Then the question, "Would you please take the rubbish out?" can be answered with, "Yeah, yeah, that was a lot of work again!" But a certain operational blindness also plays a role here; over the course of many years in a relationship, you no longer concentrate on the other person as much as you did at the beginning. If, for some reason, the respect is no longer as present as it was at the beginning, then urgent action should be taken.

What can couples do about it?

There is no magic formula to prevent people from getting used to each other. Over the years, people get used to each other and that's a good thing as long as it doesn't become dull. If there is a lack of respect for the other person, you first have to work on why that is.

Some things are taken for granted in a relationship. In the past, roles in the home and in marriage were determined by other structures. The man earned the money and the woman looked after the household and children. Almost no one complained; only later, after emancipation slowly began to emerge, did women rebel and men protest.

The more women strived for equality, the more differences there could be. There could be, but there didn't necessarily have to be. Now it was not a matter of persuading your own husband, but of convincing him of your career, of whether or not you wanted children, and many other things.

If everything is accepted in silence, at some point there will either be a blow-up or you will simply no longer accept the other person. And this is probably part of the reason why people no longer listen to each other.

Respect and communication

You can learn to listen to others. We have to listen to our boss too, and we can do that. We show respect and consideration to him, so why not to our partner? There are a few important points to consider for good communication and the willingness to listen:

• Show respect
• show interest
• take time
• Being able to listen

A good conversation needs someone to listen, and someone who is paying attention. In a relationship, you can quickly shout something to each other without having to turn off the TV or put down the book. But when it comes to talking about your day, work, the time you spent with the children or your own problems, your partner should be fully attentive. It is a sign of respect and consideration; anything else would be half-hearted.

Listen properly and think along

Listening properly means listening actively. Let your partner finish speaking and don't come up with your own solutions and especially don't trivialize things. If the other person wants to know what you think, they will express it. Then you can suggest your own solutions, give advice or even offer consolation. It is equally important not to assume something that the other person is saying in a conversation based on what you think you hear between the words. Now is definitely not the right time for that. The person being asked for advice should not hear whether they really mean it, because that practically assumes they are being dishonest. You can learn from every mistake and that means hopefully doing better next time.

Such conversations can be learned, and a specialist can be brought in to help. If you notice that sensible communication is no longer possible without help, you should not shy away from it. It doesn't matter whether this is parent counseling or couple counseling. Every relationship should be worth having good conversations again.