At the beginning you are still in love, everything is going as it should be. Cinema nights, candlelight dinners and Sunday mornings you can sleep in. So harmoniously united, nothing stands in the way of family planning.
Bringing children and partnership together
But the thick end comes to an end: not infrequently a relationship fails just in the first year after the offspring was born. Childrens screaming, quarrels, sleeping nights, all this is more likely to do more to a young couple than outsiders suspect. Yet everyone has said that the time when children are little is one of the most beautiful.
Everyone first has to get used to his new role
A baby means to take responsibility. It's not just financial things that bother the young family. With a baby also changes your own role in the relationship. Suddenly, you're no longer just a friend, a husband or a wife, but a mother or father, and you have other responsibilities as well.
If the woman stays at home, the man now has to take care of his wife and baby. Many men put this knowledge under pressure because a workplace is not as self-evident today as it used to be. The woman, on the other hand, has to decide whether to devote herself entirely to caring for her child or to returning to work after a certain amount of time, and to place the child in a crèche for so long.
If she decides to be there for her offspring, she sacrifices a piece of her previous identity and experiences a completely new situation. Everything is not always rosy at this time, even if the young mother feels happy in her role. Nighttime babies crying because of colic or the first little teeth, stress with the partner, the uncertainty, if you do everything right, and also the hormone change provide again and again for land.
Dissatisfaction of the father
The everyday life of the new father does not change as seriously as that of the mother. However, when he comes home, he is rarely greeted with a nice "Hello darling, how was your day!", But maybe gets from his annoyed wife at best, without comment, the offspring pressed into his arms.
In general, in his eyes, the woman who previously cared about him seems to have completely changed. Often men even react jealously to the offspring. The child will henceforth come first - and so it will be until the children become fledged.
At first the young fathers have to get used to it. Here it takes a lot of patience, courage and a good deal of tolerance, so that the marriage does not fail. Very few couples have children who sleep through after three weeks!
Take time out and find yourself as a couple new
After a while, one usually finds himself more or less in his new role and accepts that as a couple, one must also redefine oneself. Therefore, all young mothers and fathers should treat themselves regularly - and ideally from the beginning - together. Surely there are grandparents who take over the role of babysitter once a month, better even twice. If these do not live on site, you can listen in the circle of acquaintances. Surely someone knows a trustworthy babysitter that is not too expensive.
Or young families support each other mutually. Maybe someone from the neighborhood also offers to take care of the baby. Take any help here! The partnership benefits from this shared time in the long term.
Maintain hobbies and friendships!
In a partnership, everyone should have time for their own hobbies, despite their offspring. Here, the partners must come together, because while you pursue your hobbies, the body relieves stress and can recharge your batteries. The same applies to the circle of friends. Often long-term friendships suffer from the time constraints of the parents, especially if the friends themselves still have no children and can not understand if one is too tired in the evening to talk for a long time.
Also here: Schedule fixed times. A: "We can meet again sometime" helps nobody. Especially the meeting with friends and the cultivation of the hobbies is often too short, here you will find a piece back in his identity. The great art of a young family is thus, in addition to the hectic everyday life, which of course also has an unforgettable moment to offer islands to create and recharge your batteries here.
Marriage counseling avail
If all this does not help or there is not enough time left, it can also make sense to get help from a professional. Psychologists often offer marriage counseling that quickly reveals the cause, the underlying problem. Of course, the couples have to work on that themselves. But if their relationship is worth something, they should not hide and take away the blinkers of everyday life. Because, of course, it is not the offspring to blame for the problems, but the parents' ability to deal with the stress.