At the beginning you are still in love, everything is going as it should be. Cinema nights, candlelight dinners and Sunday mornings you can sleep in. So harmoniously united, nothing stands in the way of family planning.
Bringing children and partnership together
But the thick end comes to an end: not infrequently a relationship fails just in the first year after the offspring was born. Childrens screaming, quarrels, sleeping nights, all this is more likely to do more to a young couple than outsiders suspect. Yet everyone has said that the time when children are little is one of the most beautiful.
Everyone first has to get used to his new role
Having a baby means taking responsibility. It is not just financial issues that bother the young family.
Having a baby also changes your role in the relationship. Suddenly one is no longer just a friend or husband / wife, but a mother or father, and thus has other duties as well.
If the woman stays at home, the man now has to take care of his wife and baby. Many men put this knowledge under pressure because a workplace is not as self-evident today as it used to be. The woman, on the other hand, has to decide whether to devote herself entirely to caring for her child or to returning to work after a certain amount of time, and to place the child in a crèche for so long.
If she decides to be there for her offspring, she sacrifices a piece of her previous identity and experiences a completely new situation. Everything is not always rosy at this time, even if the young mother feels happy in her role. Nighttime babies crying because of colic or the first little teeth, stress with the partner, the uncertainty, if you do everything right, and also the hormone change provide again and again for land.
Dissatisfaction of the father
The everyday life of the new father does not change as seriously as that of the mother. However, when he comes home, he is rarely greeted with a nice "Hello darling, how was your day!", But maybe gets from his annoyed wife at best, without comment, the offspring pressed into his arms.
In general, the woman who previously only cared for him seems to have changed completely in his eyes. Men often react jealously to their offspring. From now on, the child comes first - and it will stay that way until the children fledge. The young fathers have to get used to it first.
It takes a lot of patience, courage and a good dose of tolerance so that the marriage does not fail. Few couples have children who sleep through after three weeks!
Take time out and find yourself as a couple new
After a while, you have more or less found yourself in your new role and accepted that you also have to redefine yourself as a couple. Therefore, all young mothers and fathers should regularly take breaks together - and preferably from the start. There are certainly grandparents who take on the role of babysitter once a month, or even better twice.
If they don't live on site, you can ask around. Surely someone knows a trustworthy babysitter who is not too expensive. Or young families support each other. Maybe someone from the neighborhood offers to look after the baby. Accept any help here! The partnership benefits from this time together in the long run.
Maintain hobbies and friendships!
In a partnership, everyone should have time for their own hobbies, despite the offspring. Here the partners have to accommodate each other, because while you are pursuing your hobbies, your body relieves stress and can recharge your batteries.
The same applies to the Freundeskreis. Long-term friendships often suffer from the parents' shortage of time, especially when the friends themselves have no children and cannot understand them, when they are too tired in the evening to make long calls.
Also here: Schedule fixed times. A: "We can meet again sometime" helps nobody. Especially the meeting with friends and the cultivation of the hobbies is often too short, here you will find a piece back in his identity. The great art of a young family is thus, in addition to the hectic everyday life, which of course also has an unforgettable moment to offer islands to create and recharge your batteries here.
Marriage counseling avail
If all of this is of no use or if there is not enough time, it can also make sense to get help from a professional. Psychological specialists often offer marriage counseling, in which the cause, i.e. the basic problem, is revealed very quickly.
Of course, the couples have to work on this themselves. But who is worth his relationship, should not hide and take off the blinders of everyday life. Because, of course, it is not the offspring that is to blame for the problems, but the ability of the parents to deal with the stress.
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