The defiant phase begins at the age of 2 and can last, with varying degrees of severity, until the age of 4. The little stubborn children either withdraw or scream and rage. In bad moments, they can also kick and hit family members and friends.
Defiant phase in children
It is not an easy time for the parents because they often do not know how to react.
The old opinion that this phase must be nipped in the bud and that children need a strong hand during this time is strictly rejected by educational scientists.
From a social-educational perspective, the defiant phase plays an important role in the development of a child's personality. Depending on the character, the defiant reactions vary and help the child to explore his or her limits and express his or her opinion.
They learn how to express themselves in order to be heard and taken seriously. Parents must learn to help their children develop their personality without resorting to limitless and arbitrary enforcement of their will.
How should I react if the child defies
If the child is stubborn and defiant in order to get something done that is not possible or is not wanted by the parents, then the expert advice is: let the child run wild and stay calm. This is not a big problem at home, but outside of your own four walls it can often take on embarrassing proportions. Mom and Dad are quick to give in to defuse the situation.
One option is to give the child clear rules and consequences. For example, if the toy is repeatedly thrown around on purpose, you can explain: "If you throw it again, I'll take your toy away." If the child does not follow the rule, you must act consistently and actually take away his favorite toy for a short time.
However, it is also important to have an understanding of the child's stage of development. It takes time for a little person to learn to control their emotions - patience and empathy are required here. Even if as a parent you sometimes think "I can't do this anymore".
Many parents try discussions, but unfortunately these do not work because the child is not open to logical arguments in moments of defiance. Attempts at bribery are not recommended because this leads to a vicious circle and causes the little ones to want to get their way even more often.
Parents therefore have little choice but to take a deep breath, stay calm and distract the child lovingly or let them run around. Parents should definitely not react with defiance. The defiant phase is part of the healthy development of every person - it offers opportunities for personality development and for testing boundaries - but it also requires a high degree of empathy on the part of adults when dealing with their little ones!
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